Letter from James to Mother, October 15, 1863#

New Orleans, Oct. 15th 1863

Dear Mother,

I received Father and John’s letter in one envelope this morning. I have been up to camp for several days and saw Will; when I left he was writing home. The men seem somewhat hopeful and anxiously looking for transportation. The three year question is not settled but I think it looks more favorable for me than it has done. The Major is now in the City making arrangements with the L. M. General about our transportation on North as the matter stands now, without some other order should come, the men will all come to New York together and then the question will be rested. I have not committed myself to the 16 Corps d’Afrique as yet; they have no hold on me. I still belong to the 176th NY. I would give considerable if I could only foresee this final result of this matter. A commission in this Department would be no inducement for me to stay, providing I could go home with an honorable discharge. I have an idea that it will finally turn out all right. I lay in my bunk at night and think of home. I picture to myself the different members of the family, how they look and what they are doing. It is the suspense, the uncertainty which worries a fellow, so it is not because I am so awful homesick. Although there is a great deal at stake as by accepting the Commission I find myself again, I am as plucky as ever and full of grit and if I have to soldier two or three years more in this department, all right; but if it is home, so much the better! So I will try and be content any way. The only thing we fear now is an order coming to camp to pick out the men and send the nine months men home, but as they have no orders in this Department that will hold us, as our papers and books were all lost at Brashear City. I think we are pretty safe. I suppose we will start the last of this month for home then add two weeks to that which will bring it to the middle of November, at which time we will be home again. And I should conclude to go home with the Regiment; you will have a chance to look at your hopeful once more. I have not changed much in appearance; I have the same smooth face, while Will is larger and stouter than ever with side whiskers and an old

look generally. Will is as patient as a beaver; he “bides his time”. It is astonishing what an affect home sickness will have on a man, especially if he is sick. One man was found dead in his tent the other morning. He was not very well and was very anxious to get home; he had been attending to his duties all along. But just before he went to bed he was told that it was decided upon to hold the three year men; he gave up immediately, said he did not want to live if he could not go home, and died, peaceful as a child. We lost a great many men by sickness; we bury three or four every week. One company has lost thirteen men, and another twelve, by sickness alone and other Companies in proportion, not counting those killed and wounded in skirmishes.

I see in a letter that Will got from home that you think I don’t write enough letters home. I don’t how it is but it seems to me as if I wrote a great many letters home, maybe you don’t get all of them. Father in his letters seems to think under the circumstances that I had better accept the Commission. It was rather different advice from what I expected, but I suppose he gave it under the supposition of the men being kept. I am aware it is a good offer and I suppose I only want some good excuse for refusing it and going home. My future fate will be decided, within the next seven days I think. I will keep you posted. You will hear from me again.

I received the money Father sent – twenty-five dollars. I suppose you were somewhat surprised upon receiving two letters from me in the same mail; in one letter ordering a sword and fixtures, and the other letter countermanding the order. It was because I heard that the men were all going home, and I thought it better it wait a letter before deciding upon the sword question. We are having splendid weather; just cool enough to be comfortable. My Company is progressing rapidly in the drill and will make efficient solders after awhile. I don’t think them a very brave class of men. In fact, I know they are not; but it is the spirit of obedience, that is the moving power. They do exactly as they are told without questioning the order, and they seem to have very little concern for hurting or killing anyone. The night before last a black fellow, who was asleep, without another word he sprung up and got his rifle and shot

the man who had stumbled over him killing him instantly. He seemed to manifest no concern about it. He was sent to Ship Island, I believe, with a ball and chain to his leg. They don’t wait very long before punishing a man here in this Department. You had better keep on writing until I tell you to stop. Please direct as before.

Lieut. J.D. Wade

176th Comandelett

New Orleans

If you should come across a Miss Vale

of No.10 South 6th Street, tell her that her

son is robust and healthy and that I will

comply with her request and write him.